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Kiss My Grits, Sugar: Southern Humor with a Side of Tasty Fixin’s

 

Since I’m a Southern girl through and through, I figured it was high time I got around to writing a book filled with good old Southern recipes. My mouth is watering just thinking about fried chicken, potato salad, banana pudding and pecan pie. This book is chock full of my family’s favorites. And because I’m not the serious type, I like my food served up with some humor on the side. So I tucked in a few tall tales from my childhood about me and my kin to tickle your funny bone. Inside you’ll find 19 humorous short stories about growing up in the South in the 1950s, plus more than 80 recipes for good old-fashioned Southern cooking. Come on in a sit a spell, sugar. Enjoy a chuckle or two, then whip up some of these tasty fixin’s.  Size: 6”X9”, 116 pages, ISBN: 978-0-9842438-3-9. $7.95  

 

Read a list of the stories and recipes               Sneak Preview on Google Book Search

 

Visit the Kiss My Grits, Sugar Blog               Sample Story & Recipes Below

 

Buy it on CreateSpace.com                        Buy it on Amazon.com

Text Box: Learning the Hard Way

From an early age, Southern girls are taught never to swear. But everyone knows swearing is just a way of letting off steam when you get your feathers ruffled. Out of necessity, we’ve invented a few colorful expletives over time to help vent our anger without offending those in polite society.

One morning when I was eight, and my two sisters were six and ten, we gathered around the kitchen table to eat our usual hearty breakfast of eggs, biscuits, jam, bacon and grits. Since I enjoyed experimenting with my food, I stirred a bit of sugar into my grits.

My older sister, Anna, was horrified. “Gloria Jean, don’t you have a grain of sense? You’re not supposed to put sugar in grits!”

“I’ll eat my grits any way I want and if you don’t like it you can kiss my…!”

Both my sisters sucked in air. “Don’t you dare say a cuss word!” Anna said.

I scooped up a big spoonful of grits and flicked it in her direction. “Kiss my grits!” I yelled.

The white mush landed with a splat just above her left eye. She growled and returned fire with a forkful of eggs-over-easy.
“Quit it!” snapped my younger sister, Charlotte. “Mama’s gonna have a hissy fit when she sees this mess!”

Two biscuits bounced off the top of her head. “Mama!” she wailed.

By the time our mama showed up, Anna and I were locked in a death grip, rolling around on the floor, and covered head to toe in food.

Needless to say, the two of us spent the rest of the morning sweeping and mopping the floor, scrubbing the table and washing the dishes while Charlotte played in the backyard.

“I hope you’ve learned your lesson,” said Mama after we’d put away the last of the clean dishes.

“Yes, Ma’am,” we said in unison. 

We learned our lesson all right. Next time we’d settle our differences outside.

*      *      *      *      *      *
Recipes included with this story: Southern Grits, Cheesy Grits, Shrimp & Grits, Homemade Biscuits, Sausage Gravy
Text Box: Ham Jambalaya

2 tablespoons vegetable oil 
1/2 cup chopped onion 
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper 
1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper 
2 cloves garlic, minced (or 1/2 teaspoon garlic
     powder)
2 cups diced, fully-cooked ham 
1 cup uncooked rice 
1/2 teaspoon thyme 
1/2 teaspoon salt 
3-4 drops hot pepper sauce, or to taste 
1 (14.5 oz.) can diced tomatoes 
3/4 cup chicken broth (or 1 teaspoon chicken
     bouillon granules dissolved in 3/4 cup water)

Heat oil in a large saucepan. Add onion, bell pepper, and garlic. Cook, stirring occasionally, until vegetables are tender. 

Add ham and rice. Stir until rice is well coated with oil. Add thyme, salt, hot sauce, tomatoes and chicken broth. 

Cover and simmer until rice is tender and liquid has been absorbed, about 20 to 25 minutes.
Text Box: Sweet Potato Pie

2 cups mashed, cooked sweet potatoes 
1 cup granulated sugar 
1/4 cup melted butter 
2 large eggs 
1 teaspoon vanilla extract 
1/4 teaspoon salt 
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg 
1 cup evaporated milk 
9-inch unbaked pie shell 

Preheat oven to 350º. 

In a large bowl, combine the potatoes, sugar, butter, eggs, vanilla, salt and spices. Mix thoroughly with an electric mixer. Add milk and beat until well blended. 

Pour filling into pie shell and bake for 35 to 45 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. 

Place pie on a rack and cool completely before serving. 
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Click on the Picture at Right to View a Fun Musical Greeting Card featuring FREE Recipes From Kiss My Grits: Southern Humor with a Side of Tasty Fixin’s

Text Box: Visit the Kiss My Grits, Sugar Blog
for More Free Recipes and
Sample Stories